Some days grace is brown and hot and liquid.

I drink deeply.

Success of the Day: Homemade Yogurt

When Life Hands You a Snowstorm, Make Snow Cream

Happiness is...

...heading home for a white Christmas.

Espresso Truffle Brownies

Adapted from this gluten-free recipe.

• 1/2 cup dried black beans (this is the same as one 15.5 ounce can of cooked black beans, but this way there's no extra stuff in them, and cooking them with the coffee and vanilla helps them absorb those flavors)
  
• 1/4 cup coffee beans, finely ground
• 3 teaspoons vanilla
• 3 eggs
• 3 T coconut oil
• 1/3 cup cocoa
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
  
• 1/2 cup diced dates
• 3/4 cup chocolate chips (the only not-healthy ingredient - I did use organic, but next time I'll make my own)
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
  

Soak beans. (I did the quick soak method: bring to a boil, remove from heat and keep covered for an hour.) Drain beans. Cover with 1 1/2 cups of water, add coffee and vanilla, and bring to boil. Boil gently, partially covered, until beans are tender, adding water if necessary.

While beans are cooking, place dates in small pot, just barely covered with water. Simmer to soften.

Place cooked beans (including juice and coffee grounds - should be about 1 1/2 cups), dates (drained), eggs, and coconut oil in the blender. Puree. (If your blender is struggling, add a bit more coconut oil.) Add cocoa and baking soda and blend until mixed. Stir in chocolate chips and walnuts.

Pour batter into greased 8x8 baking pan. Bake at 350 until top is dry and sides begin to pull away from the pan (20-25 minutes).

Brownies will be gooey when they first come out of the oven. This is, of course, not a bad thing, but you won't be able to serve them as a bar. Once they've sat for a day or so they have a fudgie-brownie-meets-truffle consistency and taste even better. My only other tip: don't mention they have black beans in them until people have tasted them. You can't taste the beans, but some folks would be too squeamish to try them.

Lunchbox Cookies

One day I was thinking, we eat celery with peanut butter and raisins, we eat apples with peanut butter - why not combine them all in one yummy good-for-you cookie? So I adapted a recipe I got ages ago from my second favorite mother of seven and called them After School Snack Cookies. That cumbersome handle morphed to Lunchbox Cookies, but they're actually perfect for breakfast on the go.

WARNING: These cookies are hearty and wholesome and not very sweet. If that's a problem, add more honey, call them something other than cookies, or get a recipe somewhere else.

• ½ c. coconut oil
• 1 c. honey (use good, raw local honey - the stuff from the grocery store may be cheaper, but it also may not be honey)
  
• ½ c. natural peanut butter (this matters!)
  
• 1 ½ T vanilla
• ¾ c. milk
• 3 c whole grain flour (I use part whole wheat, part oat)
  
• 1 ½ t baking soda
• 2 T ground flax seed
• 2 ¾ c oats
• ¼ c sesame seeds (if your sesame seeds are unsalted, you may want to add a pinch or two of salt to the cookie dough)
  
• 1 apple, diced
• 2 stalks celery, diced
• ¼ c. raisins

Combine coconut oil, honey, peanut butter, vanilla, and milk. If you measure the oil first and then use the same measuring cup for your honey, you'll waste less honey!

In separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and flax seed. Add to wet ingredients. Stir in oats, sesame seeds, apple, celery, and raisins. Let sit for 15 minutes.

Roll into balls, flatten slightly between hands, and place on greased cookie sheet. Bake 10-15 minutes at 350.

I always give the above disclaimer before serving these cookies. So long as you're not expecting a super-sweet cookie, you'll love them!

Hope Gratitude

So, the whole regular-or-even-daily posting on gratitude leading up to Thanksgiving didn't pan out quite like I expected, but here's a late one to roll us into Advent.

"I suck but there's hope." That's how some friends and I summed up our lives tonight. It's the Gospel in a nutshell - I'm depraved and helpless, but hope is found in the Cross, in the Christ who doesn't just offer something to be hopeful for but becomes our hope.

His kind of hope isn't the wistful thinking we're accustomed to, the I-hope-I-win-the-lottery optimism that knows all along it will be disappointed. His kind of hope is a sure thing, a promise that we wait for while knowing it's already kept. We have hope that we aren't stuck the way we are, hope for redemption, for the resurrection that cannot be unless death comes first.

The curse of Babel in Genesis 11 is followed by the promise of blessing in Genesis 12. The writing on the wall -- that we're mortal, that we don't measure up, that our false hope will crumble in our fists -- is followed by lions shutting their mouths while Daniel prays and a pagan king opening his to praise the living God. And even as God pronounces to Adam and Eve the dreadful consequence of their sin, he is promising to send the only one who can defeat it.

Like their children and their children's children, we rest in and long for the Savior who came and who is coming. "He comes to make his blessings flow far as the curse is found" -- in every corner of the world, in every corner of my heart.

Again Gratitude

On a three-year-old, long black piggytails and big brown eyes -- and dimples, lord help us, dimples! -- can hardly be improved upon, but the fact that her name is Lucy adds to the overall adorableness of this little personality. One Sunday class was over and Lucy was engrossed in play, her back to the door, when her mother came to pick her up: “Lucy! It’s time to go!”

From the sparks that ensued one would think her mom had threatened something dreadful - spinach for dinner, perhaps, or a trip to Siberia. Lucy whirled around, all lowered brows and pouting lips and flailing arms. “Again?!” she cried.

The audacity of her mother to take her away from a place that would soon be dark and empty, locked up tight! To force her to exchange this room with its dingy tile floors and flickering flourescent lights for the comfort and security of home! To insist on feeding her a nourishing meal, kissing her owies, tucking her in at night! Every week it’s the same -- the tyrant simply refuses to abandon her.

If I ever got to the end of the list of reasons to be grateful, which I won't, I’d have plenty of cause to start back at the beginning. I’ve been shown mercy again. I’ve been forgiven again. I’ve been provided for again. He puts the lonely in families again. His compassion is new every morning again.

He’s more than proven Himself. How is it that I’m still surprised when He shows up and remains true to His character all over again?

Gospel Gratitude

It's November, and in preparation for a holiday that begins with a prayer of thankfulness and ends with over-indulgence and football, I'll be posting regularly (daily?) about things I'm grateful for. Gratitude's a discipline to cultivate, not just a feeling. It's also a close cousin to humility, so when the fourth Thursday rolls around I ought to be the humblest person at the table.

Here's today's:

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Through him we have also obtained access by faith
into this grace in which we stand,
and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God...
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—
though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners,
Christ died for us.

- Romans 5:1-2, 6-8

Any proper "Count My Blessings" list must begin with this mind-boggling truth - not that I loved God, but that He loved me.

Open Thank-you Note

Of all the good gifts that You give, today I'm most grateful for desire. Thanks for tugging my heart towards Yours.