Increased Strength

On the day I called, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased.

-Psalm 138:3

I've always known that God can give me strength, but these last few days I've known it so much more. Increased strength - and with it, joy, grace, intimacy, and fruitfulness.

The whole psalm is pretty good. As opposed to all those bad psalms out there.

Happiness is...

...a Yucatecan hammock.

*posted from my Yucatecan hammock. In the Yucatan.

Twisted Truths

-or-

"Lies Masquerading as Truth"

"You will never be good enough."
(I don't have to be.)

"You have failed - again!"
(No doubt - but I'm forgiven.)

"You don't have what it takes."
(It has never depended on me.)

"You are lacking. You are not enough."
(Again, I don't have to be. Every gift I have is what He ordained. Every gift I lack - He ordained that as well.)

"You will mess things up."
(Probably. Good thing it doesn't depend on me. Good thing His grace is already there.)

What freedom in admitting my brokenness! It is true, I confess - I'm weak, sinful, and bound to fail. Shout it from the rooftops! But that is only half the truth. The rest is that He is infinitely strong, perfectly holy, and never fails - and He is with me.

That's all the truth I need.

He Gives to His Beloved Sleep

"Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep."

-Psalm 127:1-2

The bread of anxious toil has been my staple in recent days (weeks? months?), with an emphasis on "anxious." It's easy to forget, sometimes, that God's the one building the house, not me. As soon as I forget that, the whole construction seems doomed to crumble - rightfully so, if I'm the builder.

It reminds me of the time that David offers to build God a house, and God turns around with a reality check ("Would you build me a house to dwell in?") and a mind-blowing blessing ("The Lord will make you a house...And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me.") David is humbled and grateful, as well he should be. After all, he set out to build God a house, and God said, "No, no, allow Me!"

Who am I to build anything for You, Lord? Who am I that You would build anything through me? Who am I that You would choose to dwell in me?

Your beloved sleep, because they trust You to produce fruit from their labor.
Your beloved sleep, because they know that You are not as interested in their activity as You are in their hearts.
Your beloved sleep, resting in Your goodness and grace.
Your beloved sleep, because they know they are beloved.

On King David

When I was a kid, we had a "Picture Bible." It was the Bible in comic book form. A little scary, maybe, but I devoured that thing. It was so well-loved that it was in two chunks, the cover long gone. I remember waking up early on Saturday mornings and reading those stories. I can still picture what Jezebel and Esther wore (pink with a funny gold hat and a long white goddess gown, respectively), what Moses and Aaron's faces looked like, the way Absalom hung from a tree.

David was my favorite. My affection for David was something akin to a celebrity crush. I'd speed-read the stories leading up to his and then slow down and savor his rise from shepherd to warrior, from fugitive to king.

I'm nearing the end of II Samuel right now in my (mostly) daily reading, and each time I close the book (a real one now - I've graduated to lots of words and no pictures) I discover that I can't wait to "find out" what happens next.

Tomorrow King David will say his final words, maybe even die. I'm dreading it.

Factoids

Paranoias

• That I have forgotten to lock the door at a public restroom and someone will walk in on me. (I always double check. I've only forgotten once.)
  
• That I have something unsightly between my teeth. (Not entirely unfounded - I eat a lot of broccoli and raw almonds.)
• As a child, that my fingers would get stuck in the drain at the bottom of the pool and I would drown. (Hasn't happened.)
  
• As a slightly older child, that I would be attending a wedding and when the preacher said that if anyone saw any reason why these two should not become one they should speak now or forever hold their peace, I would accidentally blurt out, "I object!" (Hasn't happened...yet.)
  

Wish List

• Vintage cowboy boots - brown
• A spice rack
• A pair of kitchen shears

If I had all the time in the world and most of the money...

• I would spend half of it baking delicious things that are good for you but don't taste like it.
• I would spend half of it traveling the world, visiting old friends and making new ones.
• I would spend half of it renovating an old farmhouse.
  
• I would spend half of it planting a garden, canning produce and drying herbs.
• I would spend half of it learning how to dance.
• I would spend half of it reading those books that have been on my list for years.
  
• I would spend most of it doing what I do now, while wearing my vintage cowboy boots in the kitchen of my renovated farmhouse, baking delicious things from my garden, and dancing.
  

I've recently discovered...

• That my eyes turn turquoise when I cry.
• That bourbon truffles are to die for.
• That I might be addicted to caffeine.
• That brushing my teeth with baking soda is not as bad as I expected.
  
• That new friends and old friends, far-away friends and right-here friends, are worth the risk and the effort.